Happy Chinese New Year everybody!

Over the past few days I’ve been celebrating Chinese New Year with the Chinese side of my family.  It’s been a lot of fun!

I love things like the New Year, because it’s another opportunity to create renewal.  Renewal is something I believe we all need regularly in life.  It keeps it interesting, fresh, vibrant.

It’s the Year of the Rabbit – I love the image it conjures.  For me, the images are: playful, cute, cuddly, and prolific!  Interestingly, what I’ve read is that a “Rabbit Year” is typically associated with a year of respite and calmness.  In a local newspaper here in Toronto I came across an interview with a representative of the Hong Kong Economic Trade Office here in Toronto who said, “Some say the following words best describe rabbits: Calm and gentle, but at the same time lively and persistent.”  Sounds good to me!  2011 is certainly going to be a lively year for us.  Yay!

Speaking of renewal, there is A TON OF RENEWAL HAPPENING FOR US.

On Monday we launch my personal website: www.peterhiddema.com.  Check it out!

I’ll be moving my blog to my website, and launching a YouTube channel there too.  It’s all about sharing a broader range of ideas with the world.  Ideas that have helped my life, have helped my client’s lives, and I hope can help yours.

To renewal.

Change.  Who wants it?

Good question.

I think many of us, when faced with change, often have at least a momentary reaction that goes something like,

“What?…Why?  Things are fine the way they are now.  This stinks.”

I remember having EXACTLY that reaction recently when I was asked to give a keynote speech about…CHANGE.  YES, CHANGE.

NO, I wasn’t bummed out about having to give a keynote speech.

I love keynote speeches – and I dare say I’m REALLY good at them.  I was annoyed by all the limitations placed on me due to technology constraints.

In this case, I was not only delivering the speech in person to an audience – it was also being broadcast “live” via webcast around the world.  The large variety of  locations and countries, combined with the technology platform it was being broadcast on tied my hands in a number of ways:

• I had to stand in only one place & couldn’t move much (I’m a walker)
• I couldn’t use creative powerpoint features to engage the group
• I had to severely restrict interactive exercises with the group
• I could not use visual aids
• Etc.

I spent the first few days complaining about this out loud and in my mind.

And then the irony hit me.

“Wait a sec:
I’m doing a keynote on change
and I’m resisting change.
This is perfect!”

So I “changed”  my perspective and decided to treat the constraints as a creative challenge.

AND

I incorporated this true-life story into my presentation.

The keynote was a smashing success and people particularly liked the authenticity of me sharing my own negative reaction to change – related specifically to what I was doing there that day.

So what’s the message?

Change is normal.
It’s all around us.
And as I said in a blog entry 3 1/2 years ago,
“CHANGE IS THE UNIVERSAL CONSTANT”.

So you get to pick:
fight it and make your life hard, or accept it, look for the opportunity in it, and make your life a LOT easier.

Yes, this is much easier said than done.  And sometimes one form of change should be fought and substituted for another.

But even that, is change. 

Today I had lunch with a friend who told me about his visit with a close childhood friend who is dying of an inoperable tumor in his brain.

His friend in palliative care at one of Toronto’s leading hospitals.

He’s only in his mid 30′s, with a lovely wife and a darling 1-year old child.
And he has a terminal brain tumor.
Wow.

Needless to say my friend’s heart is heavy with the weight of this situation.

He spent Monday night on the late shift at the hospital, keeping his friend company, so the feelings were fresh when I saw him today.

Some of you know this and some of you don’t, but my wife and I were blessed almost a year ago with the birth of a baby girl.  Our daughter has been an incredible blessing in our lives and a source of immeasurable joy.  We feel humbled and honoured by the experience and have savoured many unforgettable moments in the past year.  Equally, I look forward with great anticipation to many more special times ahead.

Needless to say, I immediately thought about how I would feel
if I were the one with the brain tumor.

And then the tougher question:
how would my wife feel?
my extended family?
my friends?

And how would my daughter feel?
Losing her dad before she could even say his name?

It’s difficult even writing these words.

All of this left me with a powerful reminder that formed the subject line of this blog post.

One of life’s great ironies
is indeed the fact that
we need to experience loss
to really appreciate it.

May you re-appreciate your life and those of the people you love – today.

Hello everyone.

This is just a very brief post to tell you all that with the New Year, Common Outlook is heading in some new directions as well.

We’ll still carry on doing the amazing, world-class, paradigm shifting (and in many cases life-changing) work we’ve always done.

AND

We’re going to play a bigger game.

Our January Newsletter will describe it, and I’ll be talking about it on my blog too.

Stay tuned for more details coming soon.

Happy New Year Everyone!

I hope your New Year’s celebrations were happy and I wish you all my best in 2011.  I truly hope you decide to MAKE this a great year.

Yes, I mean “decide to MAKE this a great year”, instead of, “I hope you HAVE a good year”. To me, the latter implies chance and indicates that we are at the whim of circumstances, while my wish for you implies that you have a say in how your year goes.

I believe this wholeheartedly.

None of us control what happens to us.

BUT

All of us control how we respond.

In fact, I believe we choose our response.  The question is whether you choose yours consciously in a forward-looking, purposeful, empowered way, or whether you choose it unconsciously, with a view to the past, as a reactive victim.

My heartfelt wish for each and every one of you reading this post is that you decide to make this your best year yet.  That’s what I’ve decided to do.

Make it count.

Sometimes you just plain need
a good ‘ole knock down drag ‘em out fight.

Really.

I was reminded of this today.

To be clear, I don’t actually mean a physical fight,
even though I depict one here in the image I’m using.

I mean an argument.

This might seem like odd advice, given that my field is conflict management, win/win negotiations, effective communication skills and so on, but sometimes you should “have it out” with the person you’re upset at, and let the cards more or less fall where they may.

“Why?”, you ask.

Because too often when we focus on not fighting – on being civilized, kind, watching our words, not raising our voice – we lose something important: honesty.

We also may not set the kind of boundaries we really need with that person or in that situation.

From my perspective, the best thing about allowing yourself to argue with someone is that it clears the air; everything gets out in the open.

On the flip side, the biggest potential cost is that you might say something you regret later.  There can be “collateral damage”. And sometimes, that collateral damage is costly.

You still need to be responsible for your words and your actions during a fight.  And, you need to be willing to clean up any “messes” you’ve created. But as long as you do these two things, you should be in good shape.

So next time you’ve been holding stuff in for too long, maybe you should allow yourself to blast the person you’re upset at.  Again, be responsible for your words and actions.  Raise your voice, get upset, make a fuss, but be responsible.

Then, clean up messes you create during the fight, and you should be left with a new level of clarity and a new opportunity in that relationship.

Hello Everyone,

I’m back from L.A. and wow was it an amazing experience!

Meeting Richard Branson was one of the highlights for sure .

He’s very kind, down to earth, and was smiling the whole time he was with our group.  He was only able to stop by for a short visit, but it was well worth it.

He spoke for a while, and then we had the chance to ask him questions.

My question was:

“Looking back on your experience, if you could only offer us one piece of advice about how to be successful (in the broader sense of the word – beyond just financial or business success), what would that advice be?”

His answer was terrific.

He began, (I’m paraphrasing) “Well, success really begins at home, so choosing the right partner is important, and investing in making things work with him or her is critical – especially if there are kids involved.  I think that’s very important.  Then at work, it’s important to remember that businesses are run by people, so treat your people well.”

Beautiful.  So straightforward, so simple, and so full of wisdom.  I love it.

What’s best is that I saw these values in action that evening at the Virgin Unite Charity Gala.  His mother was there and his son was there.  It was plain to see from the interaction among them that this family was close.  Wonderful.

So many super-wealthy, super “successful” (in the business sense) families are completely messed up.  It was wonderful to see this in action.

All of this ties so well into the work we do at Common Outlook Consulting:

• Relationships are key.
• Invest in them.
• Treat people well.
• Treat them with respect.

This will give you the opportunity to produce world-class business (and life) results.

I’m very excited to let you all know that this week I’m headed to L.A. to participate in a “mastermind group” where I will meet Richard Branson!

I’ve followed his activities for many years, and now I get the honour of meeting him in person.

I’m really looking forward to meeting him.

Just writing about it gets me jazzed!

Why am I so jazzed?  Because I see him as:

• A visionary leader;
• A role model for doing business in a human way;
• Someone who excels at focusing on the customer – wow!
• A great example of someone who doesn’t play by the normal rules – HE INVENTS HIS OWN GAME, AGAIN AND AGAIN;
• Someone who lives life full out; and, importantly
• Someone who cares about making a positive difference in our world, and does something about it!

And he keeps on creating new successes.

Above all, I have admired him because as far as I can gather, a foundational principle of his is treating people well.

I think it’s one of the key reasons he’s been so successful.  He understands that business is people. So how can you achieve lasting, remarkable success in business if you treat your people like dirt?  You can’t – plain and simple.  Sure, you can get some quick “wins” (if you can even call them wins), but nothing durable.

I read one of his more recent books (see below) and got a lot from it.  While the book has a playful title, it’s full of sage advice for entrepreneurs and executives alike, let alone the many useful lessons on life for the everyday “layperson”.

Sure, I might not choose to do things quite as flamboyantly as he does sometimes and I might make some different choices with my advertising angle, but so what?  He brings a playful approach to things, which is very refreshing.  There’s a lot to be said for that.  And, he does it all with a warm spirit as far as I can gather.
Last but not least, I will have the good fortune of attending a large charity gala this Thursday after Day 1 of the Mastermind Group.  The gala will raise money for his foundation “Virgin Unite” – something I’m happy to support.  Check them out at http://www.virginunite.com.

Then it’s onto Day 2 of the mastermind group.  It promises to be a positive, inspiring, and powerful experience!

Hi everyone,

I just returned from a week-long trip to France where I had the privilege to work with a group of executives in senior roles in the health care industry.

All the work was conducted in French,
which was a great challenge
and a great success.

It reminded me of the joy of stretching myself.

Even though my level of French is very strong (it’s fair to say fluent), it’s still a challenge to address a complex, dynamic, challenging topic like ours – namely, how to build world-class business relationships to produce world-class results.  Add to that a group of people with high expectations and a demanding stance, and you’ve got yourself a top-notch challenge.

The work went very well and my colleague and I (both non-native French speakers) received many compliments on the quality of our French and on our courage in taking on this challenge and doing it so successfully.  It was very rewarding.

While I’m on the topic of doing great work, I’d like to share with you a wonderful 13-minute video I just watched:

It’s by Robin Sharma, a global Leadership Development expert.  I’ve met Robin as well as the key members of his organization, and I’ve experienced his work first hand.  I can say without hesitation that his work is outstanding, and his heart is in the right place.

Check it out at:http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1465753719326

To greatness.