Nike struck gold when they picked this tag line, and there’s a reason for that: it’s really really good!  Succinct, powerful, action- oriented, profound – in 3 words.  Wow.

So that’s my recommendation to you today:  Just Do It.

Do what? You ask.

Something that moves you toward a good outcome for all parties in a conflict or a negotiation you’re involved in, or in any relationship that matters to you.

I was reading Robin Sharma’s excellent book “The Greatness Guide” this morning and came across a great line of his: “The smallest action is worth more than the noblest intention.” Amen to that!

Talk is cheap; actions speak loudly.

In my work with clients we make a big deal about the distinction between your intent vs your impact, as follows:

WE JUDGE OURSELVES BY OUR INTENTIONS
OTHERS JUDGE US BY THE IMPACT OF OUR ACTIONS.

Never forget this.

I believe that while your intention IS important and DOES matter, what matters even more is the impact of your action.

So here’s my challenge to you:

Take a good step today.
DO something positive for someone.
Don’t just think about, don’t just talk about it,

Today I read a great quote from Monday’s Globe and Mail newspaper:

“She’s an overnight success, built over years.”

This is what Simon Whitfield said when interviewed about Canadian triathlete Paula Findlay’s recent victory of the women’s triathlon in the World Championship Series Circuit (her second consecutive win – the only woman to do so this year).  FYI Simon Whitfield is the Canadian triathlete who gained fame at the 2000 Sydney Summer Olympics when he became the first person ever to win an Olympic gold in this sport (2000 was the first time it was added as an Olympic sport).

So what’s the link to negotitiation and conflict management?

Simple.  As with elite performers in any field, developing these skills to a world-class level takes YEARS of investment and deliberate effort. Sure, some event typically catapults the person to fame, but the effort, investment, etc often does not get factored into the equation.  People just celebrate the success and then say either, “Wow, aren’t they lucky”, or “Well that person has a special gift.”  True, they may have a gift, but they aren’t lucky.  As the old Chinese Proverb says, “Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity.”

If you want to become a world-class negotiator, you’ve got to make the same investment.  So much of what you do in negotiations and conflicts is “unconscious” behaviour – it’s just autopilot.  If you want to improve it, you’ve first got to become aware of what you do that works and doesn’t work, and then you can invest the time and energy to change it.  The good news is, you’re negotiating all the time, so you’ve got plenty of opportunities to practice.

Sure, you can get quick improvements in a short time-span by boosting your awareness and focusing on a few key skills, but true mastery takes years and years, and is a never-ending process.

Here’s to world-class negotiation success.  Everyone wins with a truly  world-class negotiator.

Hi folks – I’m back after some time off.  Hope all of you in the Northern Hemisphere are enjoying your summer!

A number of years ago I remember reading the quote:
“Good fences make good neighbours.”

When I first read it, I didn’t like it.  In fact, I still don’t like it that much.
Apparently, neither did poet Robert Frost.

This quote comes from Robert Frost’s 1914 poem Mending Wall, wherein Frost questions the notion.  Upon doing a little bit of research, it seems this proverb has been around for at least a couple hundred years.  Benjamin Franklin cited something similar in Poor Richard’s Almanack (a yearly pamphlet he published for about 26 years in the early to mid 1700′s).  He said, “Love your neighbor; yet don’t pull down your hedge.”

I’m talking about something  a little different than this, however:

By boundaries, I don’t mean physical boundaries.
And, I’m thinking of all kinds of relationships – not just neighbours.

What I’m saying is that it is useful for both (or all) parties in a relationship to have boundaries, and to know where those boundaries lie.

Here are some of the kinds of relationships where I think boundaries are helpful:

• Between colleagues who are also friends;
• Between a boss and his/her subordinate;
• Between a parent and child;
• Between family members who do business together;
• Between husband and wife;
• Between one business unit head and another;
• Between the legislative, executive, and judicial branch of governments.
• the list goes on.

In some of my past relationships, I have been too flexible about this, and it has caused problems for all parties involved.  I’m not advocating all kinds of rigid constructs that create artificial and unnecessary distance between you and another person.  But I am talking about practical, clearly delineated boundaries that help define roles, responsibilities, and yes, places where you can and cannot tread, figuratively speaking.

I’m also not talking about yet another form of power and control.  I’m talking about respect of the individual and his or her role and identity.

To great relationships.