I have recently been reading many debriefs of negotiation experiences written by bright, talented MBA (Masters of Business Administration) students.  I had the pleasure of teaching these students over the past 2 months while on assignment as a Visiting Professor here at INSEAD in France.

It has been fascinating to read their experiences.

One theme that became eminently clear once again is the importance of the context within which the negotiation takes place, and as part of that, the timing.  Another very important thing is how the negotiation is begun.  What is the opening line?  What is the frame on the negotiation, and how (if at all) is that frame being modified based on how you begin?

For example, are both parties actually in a mental and emotional state where they are open to a conversation about something important?  Is the physical setting conducive to it?  Are there any time pressures or other pressures on either party at the moment that might get in the way?  

Failing to consider these factors can be disastrous to the likely result. 

Specifically, one thing to watch out for is whether or not the other party feels that the context has been manipulated in such a way as to “set them up” and somehow stack the situation in your favour and against theirs.  In a few of the situations my students described in their journals, parties chose to do something really nice for their counterpart, using that as a way to “soften them up” for the negotiation.  This often backfired, since the counterpart saw through the strategy and was therefore more opposed to whatever idea was being put forward.  Furthermore, the relationship was also damaged, which – aside from being unpleasant in its own right – has negative impacts on future negotiation results.

This does not mean that it’s not a good idea to invest in your relationships.  To the contrary.  We all know that strong relationships are critical enablers to successful negotiations.  I am also not saying that it’s not a good idea to be purposeful about the context you negotiate in and the groundwork you lay for the negotiations.  I am saying, however, that you should think hard about (a) whether your investment in the relationship has a hidden agenda designed to manipulate the outcome, and (b) how your “moves” to set the context and environment for the negotiation might be perceived by the other party.  Put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you would feel if the roles were reversed. 

Remember, the means has a huge impact on the end.  If the setting is wrong and the timing is bad, a perfectly feasible negotiation can be completely derailed.