This is the headline of  a story included in a book I’m reading at the moment.

It is Mitch Albom’s newest book, Have a Little Faith.  One of my core team members was kind enough to give me the book for Christmas at our recent Holiday dinner.  I like Mitch Albom’s work (he authored the best-seller Tuesdays with Morrie, among other books).

Albom provides thought-provoking content that I find well worth my time.  I got some great reminders and insights from Tuesdays with Morrie, and so far I’m getting good stuff from this book too.  This particular story was recounted by Mitch’s Rabbi in 1975 in a sermon, which obviously had enough impact that Mitch chose to include it in this book.  I really liked the story’s message too.

Enough context now.  Here it is:

“A man seeks employment on a farm.  He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer.  It reads simply, `He sleeps in a storm.’

The owner is desperate for help, so he hires the man.

Several week pass, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley.

Awakened by the swirling rain and howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed.  He calls for his new hired hand, but the man is sleeping soundly.

So he dashes off to the barn.  He sees, to his amazement, that the animals are secure with plenty of feed.  He runs out to the field. He sees the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in tarpaulins.  He races to the silo.  The doors are latched, and the grain is dry.

And then he understands.  `He sleeps in a storm.’

My friends, if we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love and behave in line with our [beliefs], our lives will not be cursed with the aching throb of unfulfilled business.  Our words will always be sincere, our embraces will be tight.  We will never wallow in the agony of `I could have, I should have.’  We can sleep in a storm.

And when it’s time, our good-byes will be complete.”

After a year like the one I’ve just lived through – full of big challenges, high highs and low lows, big transitions, and more than my share of stress – this story really resonates with me.  But really, it’s a good way to live anytime.

May we all manage our lives well enough to sleep in a storm.

OK, so we’re finally actually LIVING IN our new home.  Yeeehahhhh!!

It feels a lot better than the sense of living nowhere during the interim.  There’s still plenty of work to do and we’ve got friends coming over Friday for a Christmas gathering plus coming from out of town for Christmas and New Years, arriving in 2 weeks and staying for 2 weeks, but it’s all good (after all, WE invited them).

For me, having friends and family over is an important part of converting a house into a home, so I really don’t mind the work that comes with it.  As usual, it comes down to balance and making sure there’s also time for just me, and for just my wife and I.  And there is.

It’s finally starting to feel like I can settle into this new phase in my life.  I’m not talking about physically settling into the home – unpacking everything, buying new furniture, handling repairs and other things (although that’s part of it) – I’m talking about settling into all the changes that come with the new home:

• We’re in a new neighbourhood that doesn’t contain all the same charms and other benefits of the neighbourhood we used to live in (e.g. location vis-a-vis downtown, variety and proximity of the shops, etc), and that in itself is a big shift.
• We’re also living in a house that is different from the kind of house I envisioned myself in next, although that’s turning out to be fine.
• We’re making other changes to how we run our lives, and this has an effect.
• I’ve also made changes to my working arrangements and office space in the city.

It all adds up to significant and important change.  There are other life changes happening as well – positive, but significant.

What does all of this mean?  It means the past 4-6 weeks have felt pretty tumultuous.  The experience has felt great, terrible, easy, difficult, stressful, peaceful, exciting, crazy-making, fun, annoying, and a number of other things I can’t think of at this moment.  It just depended when you asked me.

The key has been to maintain perspective through it all.

Unfortunately I wasn’t always successful at doing that, but I adopted a couple of practices to help me. One was keeping in touch with good friends and talking to them about it; another was journaling about it when my mind was really racing; another was talking to my business/life coach about it; yet another was just putting it all aside from time to time and just going out for a nice evening with my wife or a friend.

Here’s wishing you perspective and balance through life’s changes.

Hellooooo out there in blogland.

Two months since my last posting.  Ouch!  I have been preoccupied with work, travels, new projects, and most importantly, buying, renovating, and moving into a new home.

The process isn’t done yet, but we’re almost there.  I find that these things are always larger undertakings than one imagines.  They’re not unmanageable, just a little unwieldy and definitely enough to set you off your rhythm.

What’s more, I was out of the country on both the day we closed the purchase of our new home, and the day we closed the sale of our existing home.  Special huh?  In fact, I was also away on the day we bought the new home (and the day we bought our previous home).  Do you detect a theme here?  Hmmm.

None of these things were really a problem, but I did notice that it interfered with my ability to really connect with what was happening.

It reminded me of a more general principle about life.

We often fly through life, not really connecting with many of its important events as they happen.  What a shame.  I’ve definitely done it on different occasions, and when it’s happened I’ve often regretted it.  I don’t want to just coast along numbly through life.  I want to experience it.  I think it makes the journey richer.

So, for this round of change in my life I’ve been taking some moments here and there to let it sink in.  I need more of them; I can feel it.  I’ll get there.

Dear readers,

For those of you in the Northern Hemisphere, doesn’t this time of year feel to you like a new year?  To me it does.  In fact, in many ways it feels more like a new year than January 1st does.

Summer vacations are over, the kids have gone back to school, the weather is turning colder, and everything kicks into gear.  You can feel the energy shift around you.

This is just a very quick entry to mark the occasion and to wish all of you a great autumn season.  As we crank up our engines, my wish for all of us residents of the Northern Hemisphere is this:

• That we be purposeful about where we’re headed; and
• That we keep in mind why we’re doing it all in the first place.

And, if we don’t have good answers to those two questions, my wish for you is that you stop and reflect on your answers, and then take action to move you in the direction you DO want to go.

For our friends in the Southern Hemisphere, as you head toward spring and summer and a time when you can slow down, my wish is that you use that “pause” to make sure you’re still living the life YOU want to live – not the life someone else wants you to live or the life you think you’re supposed to live.

Here’s to making it worth your while.

I’m managing a lot of change in my life at the moment, hence this entry.

As a result of all the change happening I am re-reading sections of an excellent book my coach recommended to me a couple of years ago.  The book is called The Anatomy of Change: A way to move through life’s transitions by Dr. Richard Strozzi-Heckler, PhD.  It is a groundbreaking book in many ways.  I recommend it highly.

Although it was first published in 1984, it continues to be on the leading edge of thinking about how to manage change, and how to access your own inherent wisdom about what YOU need when you are going through transitions.  It is unconventional and very modern in some ways yet it also draws on ancient wisdom traditions.

I will mention only one brief piece of advice here that is covered in the book: when you are experiencing a lot of change, give yourself time – even just 15 minutes – a couple of times a week to just sit quietly and listen for wisdom from within.

Meditation is an excellent tool for this, but you don’t have to meditate to access your wisdom.  Sitting quietly in a place with no major stimuli to distract you can work as well.  Albert Einstein said he often came up with his best ideas after staring idly out the window at the sky for undefined periods of time.

Here’s wishing each one of us the patience to listen to our own wisdom.

Hi everyone.  I’m baaaack!   As you can see from the date of this post, I’ve been back for a while – and I’ve been busy.

It was a great trip.  Mixed in many ways: difficult physically sometimes, up and down emotionally, full of incredible natural beauty, and in some ways almost surreal.  Sometimes I think I haven’t even been there.

We accomplished our primary goal, which was to raise funds as well as inspire others to get involved with the Charitable Organization “Fondation Sur la pointe des pieds” www.pointedespieds.com.  We reached our final destiation after four fairly long days of kayaking (15-23 kilometres per day, setting up and taking down camp each day), but the journey was with it.  Along the way we passed over a hundred icebergs; sometimes navigating our way through an entire field of them.  And when we arrived at our destination, we were surrounded by glaciers making their way down into the ocean.

We had the good fortune of seeing a piece of the glacier fall off and become a new iceberg, and we also had the pleasure of seeing a large iceberg split apart and flip over.  It is truly magical.  We also had a polar bear within 3 km of our camp on our last night.  As much as this sounds potentially exciting, it is quite dangerous.  I learned that apparently polar bears are the only bears that have a taste for human blood.  This means they won’t simply kill you out of fear or anger, they might hunt you and EAT you.  Wow.

We also enjoyed our brief stay in Iceland on the way home.  I had been there before, spending over 3 weeks there in 1996 and circling the whole country by car with a British friend of mine.  It’s a beautiful and interesting place.

Of course, words will never do it justice.  To get a sense of what I’m saying, Google “Greenland” and check out photos of this beautiful country.  It is remarkable: vast, largely untouched, rugged, etc.  It reminds me a lot of Canada’s remote regions.

I'm excited to be writing about an adventure I'll be taking in just under 3 weeks.

I will be headed to Greenland, hiking and sea kayaking with a group of people in order to raise funds for a Quebec-based charitable organization called "On the Tip of the Toes Foundation" http://pointedespieds.com/index.php?id=1&lang=eng.  This organization takes teenagers living with cancer on wilderness expeditions. 

The Foundation has 4 main purposes:

• Change how the kids see themselves and relate to their cancer
• Rebuild their self-confidence and show them that anything is possible
• Give them back (at least part of) their childhood
• Give them a wonderful experience and an appreciation of nature

The idea of our trip is to give this group an experience similar to what the teens get, and in the process build a new group of supporters for the important work this organization is doing.  

My role is to lead the personal/professional development component of the trip.  I am charged with bringing new perspectives about life and work to the participants, helping them grow as people, and moving them further along the path toward some of their dreams.

Last week I went to Montreal to meet most of the participants.  This of course really brought the trip to the forefront for me. 

Check out their website.  You can watch a video of one of the trips which will give you a good idea of what they're up to, or you can read some of the kids' testimonials.  It's inspiring.

Here's to appreciating the gift of life. 

In the past few months I’ve been spending a lot of time and energy considering some important choices about my professional life.  It has not been easy.  In fact, as I reviewed my journal from the past 18 months, I saw that this journey has been in process over that period. 

As I sit here reflecting on things in the wee hours of the night, the phrase “The Road Less Traveled” came to mind.  I remembered a wonderful poem by Robert Frost about this concept.  It is in fact called “The Road Not Taken” while “The Road Less Traveled” is the title of a bestseller written by M. Scott Peck (an American Psychiatrist) in 1978, but these facts are neither here nor there.  

The point is, I feel like this is what I should be doing: taking the road less traveled. 

What does that mean?

• It means making the choice that isn’t the easiest one, but the better one. 
• It means having the courage to be bold. 
• It means not selling out on my dreams. 
• It means following my inner wisdom, and pursuing the path that gives me the most joy.  

All of this is easier said than done.  But, I owe it to myself and all those around me to do it.  I serve no one by taking the safe route.  

I will end this posting with Robert Frost’s beautiful poem.  May it inspire you. 

I have recently been reading many debriefs of negotiation experiences written by bright, talented MBA (Masters of Business Administration) students.  I had the pleasure of teaching these students over the past 2 months while on assignment as a Visiting Professor here at INSEAD in France.

It has been fascinating to read their experiences.

One theme that became eminently clear once again is the importance of the context within which the negotiation takes place, and as part of that, the timing.  Another very important thing is how the negotiation is begun.  What is the opening line?  What is the frame on the negotiation, and how (if at all) is that frame being modified based on how you begin?

For example, are both parties actually in a mental and emotional state where they are open to a conversation about something important?  Is the physical setting conducive to it?  Are there any time pressures or other pressures on either party at the moment that might get in the way?  

Failing to consider these factors can be disastrous to the likely result. 

Specifically, one thing to watch out for is whether or not the other party feels that the context has been manipulated in such a way as to “set them up” and somehow stack the situation in your favour and against theirs.  In a few of the situations my students described in their journals, parties chose to do something really nice for their counterpart, using that as a way to “soften them up” for the negotiation.  This often backfired, since the counterpart saw through the strategy and was therefore more opposed to whatever idea was being put forward.  Furthermore, the relationship was also damaged, which – aside from being unpleasant in its own right – has negative impacts on future negotiation results.

This does not mean that it’s not a good idea to invest in your relationships.  To the contrary.  We all know that strong relationships are critical enablers to successful negotiations.  I am also not saying that it’s not a good idea to be purposeful about the context you negotiate in and the groundwork you lay for the negotiations.  I am saying, however, that you should think hard about (a) whether your investment in the relationship has a hidden agenda designed to manipulate the outcome, and (b) how your “moves” to set the context and environment for the negotiation might be perceived by the other party.  Put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you would feel if the roles were reversed. 

Remember, the means has a huge impact on the end.  If the setting is wrong and the timing is bad, a perfectly feasible negotiation can be completely derailed.  

Greetings from France, blog readers.  

I am spending 2 months here while teaching at a University near Paris (a great place to be as spring approaches), and I came across a very interesting book that my wife picked up.  It is called "French Women Don't Get Fat", by Mireille Giuliano (a French national married to an American).  It's stated purpose and focus is on helping women find a healthy, sustainable way to enjoy food while eating well and honouring their bodies. 

I have enjoyed reading it so far, in part for its useful advice on wellness and eating healthily, but even moreso for its wise words about life in general.  I want to share some of that wisdom with you here.

Probably my favourite statement in the book so far came on page 41.  It is, I think, a very useful insight into life:

"We are fragile beings in a world full of temptations"

This comment is made in the context of an insight the author's former doctor had about people.  It was an insight he applied to his work with the author in helping her return to a balanced weight and a sustainable way of eating and enjoying life.

When I read that phrase, it landed so solidly I had to put the book down for a while.  My mind raced with images of so many times when that statement held true for me.  I became inspired and had a flurry of ideas.  I found myself reflecting on many situations I've wrestled with as I tried to stay on course for a goal I was pursuing, only to beat myself up because I had strayed from the target due to some other interruption or priority.  It also really resonated in the sense that I am interested in many things, and sometimes find it difficult to stay focused on a few key priorities when so many fascinating and wonderful new opportunities come to my attention all the time.  Fortunately, these are generally "good" temptations.  Stil, they can create a lot of consternation inside of me. 

I also appreciated the quote because of the compassion I saw in it.  I am sometimes ruthless with myself when it comes to falling behind on a goal or making a mistake with something or someone where I feel I "should have known better".  For me, the "fragile beings" part of the quote really speaks to the nature of being human, and it seems to call out for self-compassion.  I think we can all use more of this. 

Here are two other thoughts I appreciated:

"Deprivation is the mother of failure"

and

"Any program that your mind interprets as punishment
is one that it is bound to rebel against"

So true!  Think of how many changes you've tried to make in your life that either felt like punishment or involved a lot of deprivation.  Did they last?  I bet not.

This is not to say there isn't a role in life for occasional deprivation.  There are many cultural and religious traditions around the globe that involve periodic or ritualistic deprivation of one sort or another.  However, in many cases these are short term undertakings, and I see them as ways of teaching us (or reminding us) to appreciate life as we have it.  In situations where the deprivation or punishment is designed to be part of everyday life, I see high costs and unclear benefits. 

Finally, another piece of wisdom I very much appreciated was the notion of the power of "slight recalibration".  That is, the power of small changes.  As the author put it,

"Little changes
can make a big difference
in the long run"

Absolutely.  If we want to make a big change that wil become a part of who we are, one of the most sustainable ways to do it is to make small adjustments in that direction, like a ship adjusting course on the ocean.  In time, those adjustments add up to something big.  Perhaps most importantly, because they were made in small steps along the way, they have become engrained in your way of doing things; even in your way of being.  That, my friends, is a recipe for success.  Sure, sometimes quick, bold, dramatic shifts are called for, but many things in life need time to incubate and nurture themselves.  The incremental approach described by the author definitely creates that space. 

Let's all be thankful for the gems of wisdom we come across in our lives.