Dear readers,

I'm going to address a potentially sensitive topic today. 

Christmas is almost upon us, and based on this year's calendar, this evening represents the lighting of the 3rd Hanukkah Candle (if my information is accurate).  Aside from that, there is no other major religious observation occuring among the world's major religions.  In regard to Christmas specifically, beyond the religious significance for Christians, millions of people around the world celebrate Christmas in their own more "secular" way, which offers many good opportunities for family gatherings and good deeds. 

Yet, instead of saying "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Hanukkah" to those celebrating either tradition, we say "Happy Holidays".  I don't know about you, but I find this unfortunate.

Especially in more recent years, I have found the "genericization" of how we describe this time of year in this part of the world to be rather empty. 

I can only guess at why "Happy Holidays" became the predominant greeting in North America in particular.  I think it came from a good intention – the intention of being more inclusive of different faiths and traditions, and the intention of not offending anyone.  However – while the intention was good - I don't think the impact has necessarily been so good.  I feel we are now talking to nobody when we say "Happy Holidays".  It often feels like a safe yet somewhat meaningless greeting to me.

Surveying a few of the world's major religions in a little more detail, including Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, and Judaism, from what I can determine, only Christianity and Judaism have any religious ritual that regularly occurs around Christmas time as measured by the Gregorian Calendar (which bases its measurements of years on the sun vs. the moon, used for the Buddhist, Muslim, and Jewish calendars, for example).  For Jews, Hanukkah (also spelled as Chanukah) tends to occur between late November and late December on the Gregorian calendar.  This is because, although the Hebrew calendar calculates its 12 months using the lunar cycle (which add up to about 11 days less than 12 "solar" months, it calculates years using the solar cycle, and keeps the two in check by adding an extra month every few years.  For Muslims, Ramadan appears to be the most important religious observation.  As noted earlier, Muslims also use the lunar calendar, but they use it to measure both their months and their year.  Thus, their year is about 11 days shorter than the solar year.  This means that the dates of Ramadan move forward about 11 days per year.  Therefore, it is only about once every 30 years that Ramdan occurs around late December for a few years (this year it was early Sept to Early Oct in the Gregorian Calendar) .  In the years when that happens, we can acknowledge the celebration of Ramadan to our Muslim friends and neighbours.   

What I tend to say to people is, "Are you celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah?".  If the answer is, "Yes, I'm celebrating Hanukkah", I wish them "Happy Hanukkah!"  If they say, "Yes, I'm celebrating Christmas", I say, "Merry Christmas!"  If they're not celebrating either one, I ask them if they're taking time off around now, or doing anything else unusual given how many people celebrate Christmas in particulr in this part of the world, I acknowledge that and wish them well with it, and then we part ways.  It seems to work very well. 

And, whenever I tell people that I prefer to be more specific in my well-wishes, I get a very positive response. 

If you live in a part of the world where many people celebrate Christmas, I invite you to consider this way of greeting people in your interactions with them. 

Try it out and see what impact it has.  We live in a beautiful world full of richness and diversity (just like nature).  Why not acknowledge and celebrate that richness, instead of trying to turn all of it into a nameless, faceless, undifferentiated blob.  As always, I'm interested in any comments you'd like to offer. 

So, Merry Christmas!  Happy Hanukkah!

And, if you're not celebrating either one but you live in a part of the world that does, I hope you find your own way to benefit from the change of pace and the special events. 

Earlier this week I was in Santiago, Chile, working with a client who had brought in his leadership team from all over South America. 

The engagement lasted two days, and it was a great success, even though we conducted the work in Spanish, which was a challenge for me.  Although my conversational Spanish is strong, working on a complex, nuanced topic like ours – where anything can come up at any time – is quite another thing.  I made plenty of language blunders along the way, and there were many points at which I struggled to express myself as well as I can in English or French.  But, what saved me every time was my approach. 

This is going to sound like bragging, but it's not intended as such.  My goal here is simply to share what I took from it as reminders and lessons along the way.  It's interesting because I have moved through many cultures and many countries in my travels, and every time, there is some other reminder, some other lesson.

Specifically, here are the things I would name that helped:

• First, there is the commitment I have to make myself understood, however I can. 
• Second, there is my willingness to make mistakes and look silly in the process.
• Third, my genuine curiosity to learn more about the languages (Spanish and Portuguese), the cultures, and the people.  

I find that as long as point # 1 and 2 are present, I'm already in quite good shape.  But, add in what I call "The Curious George Factor", and the learning goes up substantially.  I'm always asking questions, trying to understand how something is said or pronounced, why something is done a certain way, how "x" or "y" happens in this part of the world, and so on. This gives me context for things, and obviously helps build my vocabulary more quickly.  

Part of it too is feeling comfortable enough in the situation to "go for it".  This can sometimes be a challenge, and can take some work.  For example, although I've made my way through over 60 countries over the years and have learned to be very quick and comfortable in adapting to different settings, I still find that it can require a bit of negotiating with myself to feel at ease in a new place and to remember that really, most people are good people just living their lives, and they aren't out to get me.  Once I get myself to that point, the doors of great experiences start opening up wide.  It's worth it – every time.  

Here's to new experiences.  

December 1st, already.  It truly is amazing how quickly a year can pass. 

This is the time of year when many of us begin to look back, and look forward.  And, if it isn't, I recommend you take some time to do so.  

Why?

Good question.  The reason I do it is to review goals I set, acknowledge accomplishments, modify time frames where necessary, set new goals for the following year, and more broadly step back to look at the big picture.  

We often focus most of our attention on what is happening in the moment and don't give ourselves time to really reflect on bigger picture, longer term goals.  And, if you never step off the treadmill, you may never actually get where you want to go.  Instead, you'll be swept along with the goals of others, letting yours always stay in the "someday maybe" category. 

This is a time of year when a lot of gift-giving happens, so maybe you can include yourself in that.  Give yourself the gift of some time to look back at the year you had.  Celebrate progress and achievements large and small, acknowledge what you haven't achieved, dream about next year, write goals down, and put milestones in place to help you achieve them.

And, don't forget to enjoy the process.